What a sizzler

Old Glossop 2^nd XI again proved to be a great ally for Birch Vale by beating another high flying team and at the same time made it a fine four wins out of four when beating Stockport, albeit in a very close game. Mitchell, now captain following Cannon's promotion to the firsts, won the toss and as usual on a baking hot day put his faith in his bowlers who have only failed to bowl two sides out all season.

Old Glossop were dealt a blow before a ball was bowled as quick (?) bowler Mikey Parker was to be ruled out of bowling after an injury sustained while trying to bounce Uncle Matt out in a pre match net. It was feared that Mikey might not play any part in the game as he lied flat out on the dressing room floor with a bottle of ice on his back and, with no obvious reserves in attendance, it was deemed that Mikey would bat only. His condition was to improve when given two suspicious looking tablets (horse tablets?) off Dr Twist.

Matt Parker and Twist opened the bowling and it was soon easy to see that Stockport, with the swashbuckling Wilkie, had come to try and score big runs quickly. Parker got rid of the young Stockport opener lbw for 4 and was causing all the Stockport batsmen problems, but was still not consistent enough, and as a result his bad ball was getting hit to the boundary.

Wilkie’s luck finally ran out as he was duped out by Parker who suckered him into finding Mitchell at a short mid wicket, even though his off side field was packed and Mitchell took a sharp catch. The Stockport number 4 came to the crease and struggled against both Parker and Twist before he began to look more fluent. Parker (2-47) was replaced by the in-form Mitchell and Mitchell carried on his super-human form with two quick wickets accounting for the Stockport captain and number four.

Mitchell and Twist began to slow the run rate down and Twist was using all his years experience to do so. Even though this was far from his best performance of the year, we were to find out later that you cant keep old "Rhino Head" out of the headlines. Mitchell produced a miracle ball to get rid of the Stockport number six and Twist looked like he was going to finish wicketless until a dolphin-esque like catch from Martyn "the edge" Parker. After a leg side delivery by Twist was tickled by the Stockport no 7 Martyn dived and appeared to take a cracking one handed catch.

However, as he hit the ground the ball bobbled out and "The Edge", showing a touch that fellow football players have never seen him achieve when actually meaning it, stuck out a foot, chipped it up to himself and dived again full length to pull off a remarkable if not brilliant catch.

The Stockport tail, just as they had done at Cale Green, made telling late runs and managed to put a dent in Mitchell’s figures, who at one stage was 5-4, but who finished with 5-28. The tiring Twist was replaced by Tory (2-23) who finished off the Stockport innings taking the crucial wicket of the Stockport no 9 for a dangerous 29.

At tea it was still unclear about who was to claim the DOD, but it was decided that, with the promoted Wright missing, that Shaw would open the innings with the inform Allcock. Shaw went for a golden duck and was replaced by the considerably restricted Mikey who, in his first over, certainly delivered his pre match intention of ‘not running many’ due to his bad back by taking 24 off the other openers first over. Allcock (5) was soon out and was replaced by "The Edge" who looked in a hurry as he slung his bat round like "King Arthur", and was soon out for a duck to a poor shot, caught at mid wicket. This was even more incomprehensible by the fact that we (thanks to Mikey) were scoring at 7-8 an over and were only chasing about 3.5 an over. Big T Parker replaced Martyn and tried to shake the rust off early, but he occupied the crease to let the free scoring Mikey carry on, scoring a couple of excellent fours as well as picking out the fielders with some of his better shots. Twist gave OG the dreaded curse by saying how "brilliant we are doing" before Big T was cleaned bowled next ball.Traynor (5) was out lbw before Tom Wright, who was promoted up the order, was out second ball which bought Matt Parker to the crease with the score on 102-6 and OG in some trouble. Mikey greeted uncle Matt by saying "at last someone to bat with who has got a brain" (absolute comic genius from one Parker to another - Ed), and it was agreed between both that the 3 an over needed would be a cake-walk (a what? – Ed) if they played sensibly.

Mikey was on face now and to the Stockport players delight nudged one off his first ball. This was the cue for the barracking to start, combined with the field being bought in this was a difficult situation for Matt who due to holidays and World cup absences hadn't batted since being run out for 0 at Compstall four weeks ago.

Parker played his first five balls back before deciding to chance his luck with the field being up and hit the young spinner into the Glassworks, this was when Stockport put the field up and knew they were in a game. Sensible batting by this pair took the score to 123 before Stockport replaced Matt Ely and his young replacement managed to sneak one through Mikeys gate for a well made 71.

Tory joined Matt and Matt’s role had changed now to senior partner and they added 26 before Tory was adjudged lbw for a resistant 4. The captain Mitchell came to the crease at 149 and the strategy continued before a few loose swings by Mitchell and constant appealing from the visiting side led to the umpire giving Mitchell out LBW for 3.

Parker looked at the next batsmen in and saw it was none other than the "walking wicket" himself. He looked over at the balcony for inspiration and instruction, but after chatting to Twist it was decided to keep on going the same way, but to try and protect the vulnerable Twist, who was restricted in running to due to age/injury. Parker failed miserably at this and was nearly run out going for the strike, but after leaving Twist to face five balls from one bad misjudgement just looked up at the gods and prayed.

Twist (5*), to the amazement of the now quiet but ever increasing crowd, flicked a four (Vaughan-esque) off his hips to tie the scores and Parker (37*) finished off an unlikely win with a leg glance for four (text book – Ed) , to the delight of the crowd and his team-mates.

It is still unsure as we go to press who has got the DOD award but Shaw was in with a shout until Martyn decided to have another rant and may have stolen the award at a late stage again. The Parker power ratings will be interesting this week and will Twist lose his walking wicket tag for good, tune into next weeks match report for the answers.